Many and many more you (Tatami galaxy)

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We are living life as a countdown. We strive so hard to make the best out of every day, repelling any possible meaninglessness. Shuffling schedules and packing plans from Monday till Sunday, a busybody is such a desirable presence. Till the end of the day, the ultimate fear is the end of this seemingly fulfilling life. We like to stick to reality orderly and resist thinking of things that are impossible. What if every choice you make has another answer, another alternative, another world, another vision, another future? Not just one, but multiple. Saying today you have consumed seven desserts in total, you could have not consumed at all, or consumed noodles, curry, rice…instead. There are infinite potentials in each step and action you and I make. The second you take a leap and do something, a burst of rainbow sparkles appears and it follows you until you make the second leap, the third leap and so on. Do you ever feel that focusing your attention on current occupations like school assignments, love life, friendships, careers and being entirely consumed by these mundane rituals are disorienting? Perhaps one day the work you cultivate a lot of energy and time in, the love you spend so much efforts and youth in, the school life you sacrifice heaps of courage and self-identity, would fade as time passes by; and you would stand right here, staring at these once happy life comes and goes. At this moment, you might really wonder: what am I doing? Truthfully, nobody really knows what exactly they are doing at any given moment. The kind of things you have done in a certain platform at a certain time shape your standing in this world, your identity, your status, your role; but they do not constitute your meaning to live. We need to fly up a few stairs to look at the bigger picture, where you are not the center of the universe and nobody is. The accomplishments you have made would merely last days, months, years; the same goes for notorious deeds. What can stand the test of time? The imagination of how another day and another you might unfold if you are not born this way? The aspiration for a better living and better future as if now is not real? We keep thinking of becoming something one day. Sure, this serves as motivation, but could also potentially be what crippling you. When we want to become that version, we downplay our own version at present, or even do not notice we could possibly become the best version of ourselves now. In any real world settings, we are geared to improve day by day automatically. The drive behind this progress is competition. Knowingly or subconsciously, comparison is wired into our brains. When we are after our idols, we want to become them. When we are in love, we want to love more so the other would love us back in the amount we feel satisfied. When we are at school or at work, our smiles hide us from secretly comparing results and performance in public. Yes, you can become something else, and after you become something else, you desire to become another something else. It is an endless loop where you fall for reflection of others in a mirror. Look closely and see what you see. What do you have yourself and what do you not have? What strengths and limits are crying behind those numb eyes? Face yourself, embrace them. Accept who you only are, accept who you really are, accept you are merely yourself. How would you choose: experience life in different identities or give your own identity a go to experience? Whatever decision you make, you create many other possible selves in parallel universe, but you only need to accept what you are this time in this moment. You can complain, you can whine, why you suck; you may persuade yourself you would get better as time passes. And when you really do elevate into the dreamlike version of yourself, you would miss where you are now. So, why not make the most out of what you have now? However unlikely or terribly it might turn out because of your immaturity, your stupidity, your ignorance, your bad temper. It still would become a version of yourself where later in life you would desire to return to.